Talk:The Lion Guard: Forgiving A Foe/@comment-27624599-20160913225346

Nice job! I like the scene with Marigold, there's a good amount of details there. It would be nice if maybe some of the characters could be described, though. Like maybe,

'Vitani glanced behind her at Kata. "I've been better" the dusty brown lioness muttered darkly.'

Another note, all three of these events are somewhat random. I've seen this in a lot of your fanfictions, so I'd like to offer some advice: string your events together. A basic example would be, say, Kion mentioning that Janja haven't caused any trouble lately, and in a later scene, Janja and his hyenas attack Simba with a clever plan, then it closes however you'd like(maybe the Guard arrives in a nick of time to save him). So you see, the events are connected. The hyenas weren't causing trouble because they were thinking up a plan. Hope this makes sense!

Still a very good fanfiction though! It was very sweet to see Kata's harsh personality melt and show affection for little Marigold. Mari is also a very likable character. I look forward to seeing more of her, especially once she's older!