Talk:The Lion Guard: Kion's Choice/@comment-27625725-20160825230218

Praise:


 * It was nice to see Nita and Mari interacting with Sarafina. I always like to see young characters spending time with their elders.


 * The words between Simba and Nala near the end of the conversation were very sweet and showed their love for each other and respect for those who have passed.


 * I liked the compromise Kion was able to find so that he could bond with both Denahi and Fuli! It was better than him just choosing his crush over his family.

Criticism:


 * I might have said this before, but if I were you, I'd try opening fanfics differently. The talk about Mari is nice, but becoming rather repetitive. Maybe actually show Mari in the beginning of some? Maybe open with a hunt? An attempt by Reirei or Janja to sneak into the Pride Lands? Just some ideas.


 * The scenes with Simba and Nala seem to be really similar a lot of the time. Maybe they could discuss other issues, being the king and queen?


 * I seriously advise you not to plagiarize sentences from Erin Hunter's Warriors. Even if you change one word, as you did with "His pelt smelled of grass and the breeze, with a faint scent of rabbit underneath." it is still plagiarism.


 * As much as I liked to see Nita, Mari, and Sarafina interacting, the conversation was a little all over the place. They switched from one subject, to the next, and back to the old subjects really quickly.